Saturday, March 5, 2011

What do you think?

I've been thinking about a song from my childhood the past couple of weeks. It's from my beloved Scripture Scouts, which if you're not familiar with, you should be. As soon as possible.
Anyway, one particular song (that my mom likes to quote) has been running through my head:

"What do you think, when there's nothing to think about?"

I've just been doing a lot of self reflection lately, and I keep coming back to this idea. The things we think about may seem so insignificant and trivial, but really they're everything. What I think about when I have nothing else pressing on my mind really determines who I am. If I have a few minutes, what do I find running through my mind? And even when I have things to think about, how do I prioritize them or contextualize them? I think the natural man has an inclination for selfish thinking; what do I want to do? how do I look? Why aren't I as ____(insert adjective)___as ___(insert other person)___? If you don't make any conscious effort, it just happens naturally! I don't know if it's just because I'm a girl or what, but my natural tendency is to compare myself to other people, especially to other girls, even though we're told over and over again not to do it. And it makes sense! I heard recently comparing yourself to other people is a losing game because you are comparing your insides to another person's outsides. You're being unfair to yourself and setting yourself up for pain and unhappiness. Yet girls everywhere continue to do it. I continue to do it. Even though I know what it does to me!
I feel like I have been taught so many things my whole life, but this particular time in my life, even though its sometimes hard and frustrating, I'm really learning what application of those lessons look and feel like. I feel like I have lots of the hypothetical answers. I know what I should be doing. But very often, I don't. But WHY?

So, back to my thought, even though I've heard the saying for years, I feel like I'm finally beginning to understand it. Understand it in a way that has made me want to implement it.

If I can change the way I think, I can change the way I act and change what I become.

To you they may be words. But to me, they speak to not only the root of my problems as well as the solution. Just as simple of a thing as a thought can create such a change.

I want to be good. I want to be a disciple of Christ. I want to share this glorious gospel with all the amazing people I have been blessed to meet in my life. I want to appreciate everyday of this mortal field trip, because it is going by fast. I want to emulate the light of Christ.

I want these things so much. And I can have them. And it all starts with a thought.

I think :)